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About Literature / Hobbyist Premium Member jacobMale/Denmark Groups :iconoc-pony-party: #OC-Pony-Party
 
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this is things that truly touched me.

Critiques

I can write a critique with 25 out of 25 thumbs up WITHOUT butt kissing. That makes me a proud ass bastard who CAN write critique.

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would you even listen? 

85%
17 deviants said yes.
15%
3 deviants said no

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*BubblegumBloo:iconbubblegumbloo:
You....shall not....PASS!!!!!!!!!! *epic music*
Fri Apr 19, 2013, 1:15 AM
~Artception:iconartception:
RhEJTA64KQI7W5OEP68LTSUKF
Thu Apr 4, 2013, 7:12 PM
*Dualitie:icondualitie:
Hello ^^ I'm a writer and I was wondering if you could give me a critique on my story "The Porcelain Witch"? I would be very very happy to get some feedback on it! :D Hċber du vil gĝre det ^_^ - Norwegian Brony
Tue Mar 26, 2013, 1:09 PM
*Orhblin:iconorhblin:
I wish that I put my pillow up to myface right now. I would choke to death painless and silent.
Mon Mar 25, 2013, 5:23 PM
~xChrysalisSsx:iconxchrysalisssx:
żśćóąę
Thu Mar 21, 2013, 1:35 PM
~lichtschrijver:iconlichtschrijver:
Thank you so much for the fav! I wish you a wonderful day with lots of great art! Mike
Tue Mar 5, 2013, 6:51 AM
*Orhblin:iconorhblin:
my selfesteem is hitting bedrock right now
Wed Feb 27, 2013, 6:07 AM
*Orhblin:iconorhblin:
i have plans to make a music featuring custom box. i want it to look nice. any suggestions?
Wed Jan 30, 2013, 2:48 AM
*Orhblin:iconorhblin:
the world has a cruel sense of irony. I just realized that I am best socially...... when I'm a stranger.
Tue Jan 29, 2013, 12:30 PM
*Orhblin:iconorhblin:
I am not worthy of good literature T^T
Thu Jan 24, 2013, 9:26 AM
Nobody

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Orhblin's Profile Picture
*Orhblin
Jacob
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Denmark
i'm generally a future writer who still need to improve .... a lot

even though my primary goal on deviantART is literature i write Critiques, and enjoy it a like nothing else... with the exception of music, i think music is the one thing god truly have given us humans. i take critique requests so just ask me and i will happily bite you and your work no matter how good it is it cant be perfect, and i WILL find that thing and tease you with it for the rest of your life. i'm unknown for my fan fiction "A Stranger In Ponyville" but it will grow it will expand, and you are going to like it, whether you like it or not. i give hard critiques so don't expect me to be nice about it.

i think this is some stamps..... I'm not entirely sure.

:thumb309491968:
Interests
We're sitting in the car. I am so excited that I literally can't keep my mouth shut..... like literally. A topic is completely irrelevant I just NEED to say something. Eventually my mom and brother got so annoyed that they would ask me to be quiet..... It didn't work of course but I managed to withhold my blabbing for a mighty twenty seconds.

We drive into a parking spot not so very far from the actual concert hall. We find a lucky empty spot for my mom to drop us off.
We make sure that we have both ticked and money. We're not sure if we're even gonna need the money but better be safe than sorry.
Any patience I have left is a lie. the walk to Falkoner Salen is also full of anticipation. I had never seen the place before and I must admit; from afar it didn't look THAT spectacular. Men and women from a environmental most unlike mine are slagging around in front of the entrance, catching a final smoke before the event. I try to make a quick goodbye to my mother who obviously wants a kiss or a hug or something. If I had been a dad, I would have been worried sick about sending my kids into a concert like that, but my mom took it very nicely, it was even her who'd payed for the tickets.

I am a bit awestruck as me and my brother enter the reception hall. It is not quite as rough as I had anticipated. It is white and very modern looking with a spring and what seems to be pretty ugly designer lamps hanging from the roof. Of course my brother couldn't help to compliment on the damn dangling things.
I don't feel like being on home grounds. The people around me all look like true rockers unlike me who's kind of a pretender. we had been worried about what to do with our coats, but it wasn't much of a problem. easy to spot was a reception, gladly taking in peoples overalls for a puny cost of 25 KR. It wasn't exactly an organized line so I headed for the side and get rid of out coats quick and easy. My brother had caught a short conversation with some pair who also had to deliver their coats. It didn't surprise me how many foreigners there was present, events like this often drags along a crown I had heard. I get a ticked for my jacked and we proceeded to the main concert hall.

Some guys were checking for guns and knifes and stuff, I never had a problem with that, but it was an awkward moment. I look around and see that these guys weren't the one who's taking the tickets. I put my concert ticked back in my pocked and go over to the first guy sight and let him inspect me. first when we get past the inspection crew there's a woman who wants our tickets. I was so stupid as to have planted it "safely" in the button of my sealed pocked. I have to fiddle with it like a true first timer. I presume it was like seeing a baby walk for the first time.

Of course I have to lead my brother an myself to our seats. on the 2nd floor, 2nd row, seat 34 and 32 we place our very exited butts in great anticipation. Everybody else is below us and we can see just fine. In fact we see everything as if it was on telly. Perfect view indeed there was no arguing with that. I start to imagine stuff. I see myself writing a journal on deviantART about all this. It's a journal worthy event if you as me. The music hasn't even started and I'm all set and ready to explode, well some recorded music WAS playing in the background and it did well at that till the stage was set. It was just like watching a movie, only that this movie would only be seen once and it was my first time to ever watch one quite like this. we stare around a bit as we wait. Some guys are getting beers for the entertainment to come, I thought it a bit silly to drink at this point. It will be a night to remember for me if I can have it my way.

It was almost as if planned. when the crown below had stopped moving the light began to fade and the music stopped. Almost like in the cinema. The heating band (as we call it) comes in and start playing as we had gotten out earplugs fitted. it's obvious that it's not meant to be the main event and they were received a bit skeptical at first. It wasn't the next Metallica but they had a notch for rock n' roll and got received well after the first two songs. the first two was nothing to brag about and not many claps were heard. they finished off with shouting their name and the name of the artist to come. they left the stage with a clapping crowd. all in all they had done a good job of warming up the stage.

People in the hall gets more or less silent. some are discussing the band we'd all just heard like me and my brother. We agree that they did a good job somethings else catch our attention. We can't jump while sitting down and it's pretty hard so shout too. It's reĉaxi g to sit down and frankly that's not why we came. I try to say that to my brother. Meanwhile  the guy from before on the row in front of us goes down do get another beer. No one on that balcony cheered despite my urge to do so myself. It's like the mood just doesn't reach us but I remain in hope that the main event will change that

We hear the all too familiar sound of a well tuned guitar, rifs played by a single man we had all come to hear. The one man who deserved a sporlight following as entered the stage and was welcomed by what sounds like a thousand cheers. The tall black hat, the curly black hair, the sun glasses and the leather pant can only be worn with true orginality if it's worn by no other than the half english half afro american guitarist SLASH. My own eyes widens, it's the first time that i have ever seen a true rock legend and nothing of him dissapoint, i envy and pity the people donw on floor beĉow stage, some of them surely couldn't see him but they all cheered at the sound of the first somg HALO, from his newest album apocalyptic love, featureing Myles Kennedy. I see a whole lot of people clap and jump to the beat of the music but i can't clap. NO ONE on the balcony is clapping. It's like a dead party up here full of old men without enery or desire to be be exited. I look around and all i see is serious faces. I shrug it off and judge them all silently.

Myles Kennedy say some words after the song is finished but he wouldn't let us get any bored before starting the next song. This song is unknown to me but i can hear that the main focus is also the main guitar. The sporlight is coearly on Slash. He's the main event and people came to hear HIM and for good reason. His guitar rifs shake the whole hall. Strongly supported by the band the conspritors. The drummer knows what he's doing, he's important and he does a damn good job. The entire mood changed when Slash entered the scene, the music IS better but i know there's more to it than that. He is a legend and everything that comes with, for me and most other people in the hall he is a great inspriation. He's symbolic to say the least.

The songs goes and on and it doesn't take me long to see a patteren. One somg from the new album and then one other song, repeat. Some of my favorite songs comes up and when they do i turn my head towards my brother who clearly doesn't understand my exitement. I'm not sure if he knows, but not all songs from the album can be played with a patteren like this, some will be left out to others.

At some point the singing duty is given over to the rhythmatic guitarist who also did some background vocals. He has a more rocky voice amd i'll be honest i liked it. It was a nice and well thought change that it was not the same singer all the way through. Meanwhile the guy below had grabbed yet another beer. People below are getting more and more exited over the upcoming songs. And it bothers me. I feel relaxed in my seat. The music is great loud and fast but I'M still not jumping. It is late and in all honesty I am a bit tired but i would still have choosen to stay down below standing than i would be sitting down.

Myles Kennedy is played around with crowd sitting down close to them as he songs a slower song. The lights shift to pink and a feel a warm fozzy feeling bursting up through my spine. I feel that the whole concert is connected somehow. Both to the musicians and their audience. I feel my hippie mode getting. The slow songs goes strait to my heart and i think of all the people i love, friends and family. The songs is not for love, so i also think of myself, the things i have done, the wrongs i have done and what i mean to change.
Another change of song another beer for the apparent group of alcoholics below. More songs come to be played and stuff happens. Some people thorw a white piece of what appear to be cloth up on stage and Slash picks it up all the while playing. I was also hoping for an apic stage dive but igor something similar. Myles Kennedy had sneaked down from stage and stared to mingle with the crowd. People were over him like wildfire but he kept on singing and handshaking. When the old track Sweet child o mine came on the energy could be felt like a puch to the face. It's time for me to show them old crows begind me that it was a concert they were at so i clap as hard as i can, i sing along and begin to enjoy myself even more when i ignore. My brother seams to agree with me and no words were needed. This song is a calssic and it deserves embracementby a great and loud audience. I was exited to see Slash NAIL the solo that my own teacher can't quite seam to get under his fingers. After Sweet child o mine comes you're a lie. We all know that it's the jewl of the album so we take it lime it was our last day on earth with cheering clapping stomping jumping and all hċthe other stuff.  Getting another beer for instance.

The artists leaves stage after that song. They had doneso before but that was just to change instrument for different songs, thet say goodbye and leaves..... But we're not do e with them yet. We keep clapping, we keep stomping and stomping. The energy is there it's here to stay. We all afree and the dansih ROCK spirit turns visable. But i know. I know they are just dragging it out, they're testing us. But we don't surrender. We see the artists make their way behind scene and i personally see Slash receive his guitar. To tease he plays the chords of no other song than welcome to the jungle. The old songs from guns n' roses have an instant effect to make us satisfied. Myles Kennedy sings surprisingly much alike the original and Sĉash has only added more mass. He dances around the scene like a happy man in love with amazing footwork that i for some reason find admirable. He has done it for the whole concert so far but it was partically noticable in welcome to the jungle.

All doubts were clear as Slash struck the tunes for paradice city, the concert was ending and the promis to myself would wait for another time. Far and away would not be played but i wasn't sad. The dansih crowd below was showered by confetti in red and white colors, (i swear i think of the dansih flag and that's can be no coincidence) it's easy to say that the concert ended off with a bang. A truly unforgettqble experience.

The entire band congratulated us for being so epic and said that they would hope to come back.... I SURE WELL AND DAMN HOPE THEY WILLL AND NEXT TIME ILL BE I THE FUCKING CROWD AND ITLL BE EPIC AS FUCK!!!!!!!!
The arch troll of Slash places his guitar next to the amplifier and the sound looped, I guess this was way of saying, i'll annoy you till you gtfo.

The hat was the best thing about the concert though.

Long journal? I think so :P
This has been my first concert ever told at the best of my ability as a very VERY Orhblin.
I'll probably save this and correct it at a later time. Put it up as a deviation or something.
It wasn't ruined as much as i amy have made it out to be, if you know me you might know that i overuse words from time to time.

And that promise to myself?
  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: Far and away - Slash
  • Reading: Blues fictions.
  • Playing: Drums.
  • Eating: BRAINZ

Visitors

D-A-D





I got hair in my ears
I got hair in my nose
I got hair on my back
And between my toes
When the time comes and my hairwash is due
I'm gonna use one ton of shampoo
But don't give me those sentimental eyes
'Coz I'm proud and my hair is nice

It's not fair when people they stare
I love the colours I wear
I wont cut my hair
I wont cut my hair
Oh no, I wont cut my hair
'Coz I'm proud of my hair

It's like in the funny fairytale
I dry my hair the Rapunzel way
You just climb up the six floors
To my hairy home
And I'll fix u a smoke in the blend of my own
Yeah, I'll make you a hot pot of tea
Take off your clothes and feel free
And get down in my hair
And make me insane
Lets get airborn on a window-pain

It's not fair when people they stare...

I'll diiiiie without my hair

Yeah right I play in the band
And I would love to be your private disneyland
I'll be your own amusement park
Then you can ride me
And ride me after dark
If they send me to the rows of death
For having illegal dope
I will order my last meal
Before it's the chair
Hamburger french fries'n'coke

Take those scissors away
I wont cut my hair

'Cause I'm proud and my hair is nice
I love my hair
I'm in love with my hair

I'm in love with my haaaaiiiir

Friends

:iconthetriforcebearer: :iconthe--cloudsmasher: :iconninaaura: :iconskarla: :iconbubblegumbloo: :iconrabka: :iconilovefrekja: :iconthatponyuknow: :iconlou-sifer:

Comments


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:iconbubblegumbloo:
*BubblegumBloo 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Get ready for torture in
3...
2...
1...
[link]
Reply
:iconorhblin:
*Orhblin 5 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Aaaaaaaargh MY EYES!!!!
Hey it's not so bad :?
Reply
:iconbubblegumbloo:
*BubblegumBloo 5 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
...It is. :I
Reply
:iconorhblin:
*Orhblin 5 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
seeing your drawings at a younger stage makes me realize something. Art is a bit like genes, I can see that you could've gone a very different way than the one you have taken, your art may have been different but not necessarily worse. (don't worry, i'm saying that this is better than what you can do now) it's almost like a family tree
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmoonofwitch:
~moonofwitch May 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch, partner in crime for embarrassing your brother^^
Reply
:iconorhblin:
*Orhblin May 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ya welcome. I got some plans mixed up for next time i meet him :iconcreepyonionplz:
Reply
:iconmoonofwitch:
~moonofwitch May 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Uhh intresting MWAHAHAHA!!!!
Reply
:iconorhblin:
*Orhblin May 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
it involves sixteen camels, half an swizz orchestra and the american media.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconpensively:
Giving you a watch for your critiques. I don't think I would ever say that critiques are an enjoyable read, but curse me if yours aren't!
Reply
:iconbubblegumbloo:
*BubblegumBloo Apr 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*sneaks in, throws tear grenade, then runs away snickering*
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